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What is a Grief Recovery Specialist?

A grief recovery specialist is a specially trained individual who helps the bereaved move beyond death, divorce, and other losses. They facilitate grief recovery support groups and coordinate grief and bereavement support services for those who've suffered the death of a loved one or other traumatic event.

A grief recovery specialist oversees group and one-on-one grief recovery sessions as part of a hospital chaplaincy team, hospice providers, schools, prisons, or other such facilities. They're trained to use effective and practical tools that are proven to work in grief recovery.

A grief recovery specialist can be someone who's already working in bereavement counseling, grief counseling, or other types of grief and loss counseling.

What Does a Grief Recovery Do?

A grief recovery specialist works with others in the healthcare field, chaplaincies, schools, and other types of institutions to help facilitate the bereavement recovery process for those suffering through loss.

Some of their primary responsibilities are the coordination of services available to the people served by healthcare institutions and other similar companies and organizations, as well as orienting the newly bereaved in obtaining the required unnecessary health post-trauma or post-loss.

The essential tasks and duties of a grief recovery specialist can include the following:

1. Understanding the relationship between members of a family, group, organization, and communities that affect their environment.

2. Performing grief recovery needs and assessments, coordinating facility tours, and providing families with bereavement support in finding appropriate support group placements.

3. Collaborating with different facility administrations and performing clerical duties.

4. Serving as facilitators for grief support groups when needed using evidence-informed practices related to grief and loss.

5. Coordinating and collaborating with various facilities and their support groups.

6. Maintaining communication with adult caregivers, chaplaincy staff, and volunteers to help coordinate schedules with other clinical facilitators.

7. Recruiting volunteer facilitators and providing education and training of new volunteers.

8. Participating in community presentations and advocacy for various community events focusing on grief support for the community, students, or employees of different corporations and institutions.

What is Grief Recovery?

Grief Recovery is accomplished by discovering and completing all of the undelivered communications that accrue in relationships. We are all told ‘Let Go’ and ‘Move On’ after all types of losses, and most of us would if we knew how.

Completion of pain caused by loss is what allows us to let go and move on. Completion can be achieved by taking a series of correct and helpful actions. Before taking actions toward completion, we often need to explore and dismiss the myths and unhelpful actions that have made it impossible to move forward up to this point.

What’s the Difference Between a Grief Recovery Specialist and a Grief Counselor?

The difference between a grief recovery specialist and a grief counselor centers on the educational background required to obtain certification in each of these fields. A grief recovery specialist doesn’t necessarily need to hold an advanced degree to become accredited or certified as such.

A career in grief counseling begins with acquiring a relevant bachelor's degree from a four-year accredited institution. Many students pursuing a grief counselor track will choose to study and often pursue degrees in social work, psychology, counseling, or human services. 

In comparison, becoming a grief recovery specialist only requires you to have a desire to help people. There isn't any formal educational foundation needed to start a career in this field. There are specialized courses you can work through online to gain a valuable certification in grief recovery that doesn’t require an advanced degree or college background.

Who Typically Uses Grief Recovery Specialists?

Grief recovery specialists are found across all spectrums of the business world, academia, hospitals, and other institutions. You can find them at schools, hospitals, chaplaincy services, social service offices, large corporations, and other similar settings.

Companies and individuals alike benefit from the efforts, knowledge, and expertise of a grief recovery specialist. Although most individuals may never need to hire this type of specialist, they’ll likely come in contact with one at least once during their lifetimes.

School districts will utilize grief recovery specialists to assist with grief support and debriefings following a student, parent, or teacher's death. Hospitals and hospice care providers will enlist a grief recovery specialist to coordinate the patient's and their family's grief support services.

Corporations will hire a grief recovery specialist to coordinate counseling services and bereavement leave for employees who’ve suffered a catastrophic loss.

What Type of Therapy is Good for Grief?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is used by many therapists to explore your thoughts of loss and the grief that comes with them.  This is certainly not the only therapy that is helpful for grief but has been used to help countless people through unthinkable circumstances.  Through CBT, your therapist can give you the space and tools necessary to grieve and heal in healthy ways.  A good therapist will help you identify unhelpful thoughts and gain an understanding of how these thoughts are impacting your moods and behaviors.  Through the use of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, or CBT, they will use strategies such as targeting behaviors, reframing, and identifying distorted thoughts.

When Should I Seek Help for My Grief?

If you have persistent feelings of sadness and despair and are unable to experience happiness, you may be experiencing depression. If your feelings are getting in the way of your everyday life, then it’s important to seek help.

For some people, grief might not lessen even after time passes. The grief can significantly disrupt their life, affecting jobs, relationships, and how they interact in the community.

You may need to seek help if you:

- feel like grief makes it very difficult to do anything

- have difficulty socializing

- have difficulty sleeping

- change the way you eat (lose your appetite or overeat)

- experience intense and ongoing emotions such as anger, sadness, numbness, anxiety, depression, despair, emptiness, and/or guilt

- have thoughts of harming yourself

Why Grief is Important?

Grieving such losses is important because it allows us to ‘free up’ energy that is bound to the lost person, object, or experience—so that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere. Until we grieve effectively we are likely to find reinvesting difficult; a part of us remains tied to the past.

Grieving is not forgetting. Nor is it drowning in tears. Healthy grieving results in an ability to remember the importance of our loss but with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

How Long Does Grief Last?

Grief is different for every person and for every loss. The manner of the death and your personal circumstances can affect how long you experience grief. If you are grieving now, it may be difficult to imagine an end to the pain you are feeling, but it will come. Overall, acute grief should pass in 12 months for adults and 6 months for children. If it does not, you may be experiencing prolonged grief disorder and should seek help from a professional.

How Do I Move On?

The term ‘moving on’ can be unhelpful, because as life moves forward you need to move with it. As each day goes by you are moving forward, but the phrase moving on can feel as though you need to get over the passing of a loved one. It’s important to remember that moving on does not mean forgetting but learning how to live without that person in your life. Moving on doesn’t mean that your grief will end, but that you will learn to live with it.

What is Grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief but any loss can cause grief, including:

- Divorce or relationship breakup

- Loss of health

- Losing a job

- Loss of financial stability

- A miscarriage

- Retirement

- Death of a pet

- Loss of a cherished dream

- A loved one's serious illness

- Loss of a friendship

- Loss of safety after a trauma

- Selling the family home

What is the Grief Recovery Method?

The Grief Recovery Method is an evidence-based program that has been refined over the past 40 years to help you recover from the pain, isolation, and loneliness caused by loss of any kind. It is the only grief support program in the world that is evidence based, which means there is high confidence that those who follow the actions of the program will find healing and recovery from their pain.

The method is not only intended for people who are grieving as a result of a death or divorce. It is beneficial to anybody who has experienced the pain of unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations in a relationship, who is seeking to let go of the hope that things could have been better or different in the past, who desires to overcome habits of avoidance, numbing, and escapism, who is seeking strategies to identify, express, and process emotions in a healthy way, and anybody who is seeking to be more emotionally available and present in their relationships.

Symptoms of Grief

While loss affects people in different ways, many of us experience the following symptoms when we're grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal—including feeling like you're going crazy, feeling like you're in a bad dream, or questioning your religious or spiritual beliefs.

Emotional Symptoms of Grief

1. Shock and disbelief. Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If a pet or someone you love has died, for example, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they're gone.

2. Sadness. Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.

3. Guilt. You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn't say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (feeling relieved when a person died after a long, difficult illness, for example). You may even feel guilty for not doing more to prevent your loss, even if it was completely out of your hands.

4. Fear. A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. If you’ve lost your partner, your job, or your home, for example, you may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure about the future. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.

5. Anger. Even if the loss was nobody's fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.

Physical Symptoms of Grief

We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including:

1. Fatigue

2. Nausea

3. Lowered immunity

4. Weight loss or weight gain

5. Aches and pains

6. Insomnia

5 Stages of Grief

Grief counseling is often used when you cannot deal with grief and continue with your life in a meaningful way. One of the steps of counseling is acknowledging the five stages of grief:

1. Denial

Denial is often the first stage of grief. It helps your mind deal with the sudden loss of a loved one. Denial tends to create a state of shock or a feeling of numbness. You cannot accept the loss, so you deny reality. You may also deny your emotions. Denial is a helpful emotion. It makes it easier to only focus on the emotions that you can handle. It gives you time to process your feelings. However, as the denial starts to fade away, the emotions that you suppressed can come rushing back.

2. Anger

Most people experience anger during the grieving process. You may even direct your anger at the departed. For example, you may feel betrayed that they left you. Others may direct their anger at God, doctors, or friends and family who could have intervened somehow. Anger often comes from a lack of connection. For example, you may feel lost after losing a loved one. Anger helps fill this void by giving you somewhere to direct your energy. While anger can lead to poor decision-making and other consequences, it is also a sign of the intensity of your loss.

3. Bargaining

Bargaining sometimes comes before a loss. For example, you may bargain with God to spare your loved one. After the loss, you may continue to bargain. For instance, people often try to form a truce with a higher power, claiming that they will devote their lives to a specific cause if they can reverse the loss. People also frequently use “what/if” scenarios during this stage of grief. You may start replaying the events or circumstances that led to the loss. It is common for grievers to question their actions and wonder if they could have done anything differently to prevent the loss.

4. Depression

Depression can occur at any point during the grieving process. However, depression is more common and often more severe after anger and bargaining. The previous stages keep people focused on the past. You may become so focused on your loss that you are not really in the present moment. When you stop and consider your current situation, you experience depression. Depression often comes from not having the departed in your life anymore. Their loss creates a void in your everyday life that may lead to a loss of enjoyment.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance is the final stage of grief. It occurs when an individual accepts their loss. Finally, they accept the reality of the situation, which allows them to decide on their path forward. Acceptance does not mean that the person is “over” their loss. It simply means that they accept the loss and understand the need to continue living. Individuals who gain acceptance may still experience depression, anger, or bargaining moments. However, they are at a stage where they can start exploring new connections and opportunities.

Types of Grief

There are multiple ways to experience grief. Different types of grief describe how varied and complex grief can be.

Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief involves grieving before the actual loss. For example, you may begin grieving when you learn that you or a loved one has a terminal illness. Processing grief beforehand can prepare you to face the loss when the time comes. Still, it’s important not to allow grieving to distract you from enjoying the precious time you do have.

Abbreviated Grief

Sometimes, you’re able to move through the grieving process quickly. This is the case with abbreviated grief. Abbreviated grief may follow anticipatory grief. You can grieve a loss quickly because you’ve already done a lot of emotional labor while anticipating that loss. Grieving for a short time doesn’t mean you never truly cared about what you lost. When it comes to grief, we’re all on different timelines.

Delayed Grief

Instead of experiencing the emotions that accompany grief immediately after a loss, you feel their days, weeks, or even months later. In some instances, the shock of the loss pauses your body’s ability to work through these emotions. Or you may be so busy handling the practical matters that accompany loss (like funerals and wills) that your body can’t grieve until you’ve handled these responsibilities.

Inhibited Grief

Inhibited grief involves repressing emotions. Most of us haven’t been taught how to process — or even how to recognize — the confusing emotions that can arise when we’re grieving. As a result, many people who repress their emotions don’t realize they’re doing so. Unfortunately, when you don’t allow yourself to pause and feel these emotions, grief often shows up as physical symptoms like an upset stomach, insomnia, anxiety, or even panic attacks.

Cumulative Grief

With cumulative grief, you’re working through multiple losses at once. For example, you’re not only grieving the loss of a child. You’re grieving the ending of a marriage that followed that loss. Grieving multiple losses simultaneously makes the process difficult and complex in unexpected ways.

Collective Grief

Most of us think of grief as personal, but collectives (groups) grieve, too. Major events like wars, natural disasters, school shootings, and pandemics create far-reaching losses. They change what counts as “normal” life. As a group, we grieve the shared experiences we’ve lost as we struggle to imagine a changed future.

7 Steps for Managing Grief and Loss

Initial grief frequently comes as acute emotional pain. While it may seem insurmountable when it first grasps hold of your life, there are ways to cope with grief. Supplying yourself with knowledge and grieving tactics is the best way to combat your loss. Here are some tips to help you during the grieving process.

1. Give yourself permission to feel.

Grieving is a normal part of dealing with loss. But you can’t grieve if you don’t allow yourself the opportunity. Be sure to recognize the need to grieve and let it run its natural course. Your emotional health will be better served if you face your grief.

2. Write a letter to the deceased loved one.

If you’ve recently lost a loved one, try expressing your feelings through a letter. Writing a message about your emotions can be cathartic and aid with coping.

3. Journal about positive memories.

This is similar to writing a letter and can apply to any sort of loss. Even if you’ve lost your house, a journal about positive memories and experiences will help you focus on the good times. In terms of a loved one’s death or divorce, journal about why you loved them and the joy you shared together.

4. Talk to someone.

Even though talking to someone about your feelings seems simple, it can be extremely challenging. People may feel safer shutting everyone else out during their time of grief. Resist that urge and find a confidant to share with.

5. Understand grief affects everybody.

Grief is not age-specific or limited to certain populations. Children, teens, and adults all grieve. Recognize this fact and expect signs of grief from all involved parties, no matter the age. And remember, everyone has their own unique form of grieving. There is no textbook way to grieve.

6. Lend a supportive ear to others.

Maybe someone else’s grief doesn’t affect you in the same way or much at all. It’s still important to support your loved ones during their grieving process. Be there to listen and comfort them. With kids, listening and being supportive are critical. Be sure to let them work through the process, and answer their questions directly as they arise. Neglecting to answer questions or answering questions in a roundabout way may lead a child to make up stories and even blame themselves for the death or loss.

7. Prepare for recurring grief.

Holidays, birthdays, and other events can spark grief — even years after a loss. Recognize these triggers and prepare to handle the grief as needed.

How to Take Care of Yourself While Grieving

When you're grieving, it's more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can't avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Even if you’re not able to talk about your loss with others, it can help to write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal, for example. Or you could release your emotions by making a scrapbook or volunteering for a cause related to your loss.

Try to maintain your hobbies and interests. There's comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.

Don't let anyone tell you how to feel, and don't tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it's time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It's okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry, or not to cry. It's also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you're ready.

Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel healthy physically, you'll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don't use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.

Plan ahead for grief “triggers.” Anniversaries, holidays, and important milestones can reawaken painful memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. You can plan ahead by making sure that you’re not alone, for example, or by marking your loss in a creative way.

How to Help Someone Who is Grieving

It can be difficult to know what to say or do when someone has experienced loss. We do our best to offer comfort, but sometimes our best efforts can feel inadequate and unhelpful.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind if someone you love is going through the stages of grieving:

1. Avoid rescuing or fixing. In an attempt to be helpful, we may offer uplifting, hopeful comments or even humor to try to ease their pain or "fix them." Although the intention is good, this approach can leave people feeling as if their pain is not seen, heard, or valid.

2. Don't force it. We may want so badly to help and for the person to feel better, so we believe that nudging them to talk and process their emotions before they're truly ready will help them faster. This is not necessarily true and can actually be an obstacle to their healing.

3. Make yourself accessible. Offer space for people to grieve. This lets the person know we're available when they're ready. We can invite them to talk with us but remember to provide understanding and validation if they are not ready just yet. Remind them that you're there and not hesitate to come to you.

Sources:

Join Cake

Help Guide

New Vision

Health Direct

University of Washington

Plumas Rural Services

McLean

No Medica Exam Quotes

Cleveland Clinic

The Grief and Trauma

Very Well Mind

The content herein is provided for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Medical information changes constantly, and therefore the content on this website should not be assumed to be current, complete or exhaustive. Always seek the advice of your doctor before starting or changing treatment. If you think you may have a medical emergency, please call your doctor or 9-1-1 (in the United States) immediately.