In this episode of Sofia Unfiltered, Riley and Dr. Michelle speak with Dr. Martha Jo Atkins, an end-of-life licensed professional counselor and counselor supervisor (LPC-S), coach, speaker, and author.

Dr. Martha Jo Atkins' Approach to Grief and End-of-Life

Dr. Martha Jo Atkins, a seasoned professional with more than three decades of experience in end-of-life and grief counseling, shares her personal journey and commitment to providing compassionate care. As a psychotherapist, coach, and doula, she offers meaningful support to individuals and families during some of life’s most difficult moments.

 

Dr. Atkins is also the founder of the Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas and previously served as the executive director of Abode Contemplative Care for the Dying in San Antonio.

 

As the author of Signposts of Dying and the visionary behind Dying School, also known as D School, Dr. Atkins is dedicated to expanding our understanding of death and encouraging more compassionate end-of-life care. Her TEDx Talk, “More to Dying Than Meets the Eye,” reflects her commitment to creating open and meaningful conversations around this delicate topic.

 

In this podcast episode, she reflects on her experiences, including a poignant moment holding a dying child’s hand, which helped shape her deep understanding of end-of-life care and grief.

 

What Is a Death Doula and What Does a Death Doula Do?

A death doula, also known as an end-of-life doula or death midwife, is a trained and compassionate individual who provides non-medical support to people nearing the end of life and their families. The role of a death doula can vary, but it often includes:

 

• Emotional Support: Death doulas offer a comforting presence and emotional support to individuals facing the end of life, helping them navigate fear, anxiety, and other emotions.
  
  
• End-of-Life Conversations: Doulas help facilitate open and honest discussions about end-of-life preferences, wishes, and concerns, ensuring that individuals can express what they want for their final moments.
  
  
• Legacy and Meaning-Making: They assist with creating legacies, recording life stories, and engaging in meaningful activities that bring a sense of closure and fulfillment.
  
  
• Family Support: Death doulas provide guidance and support to families, helping them understand the dying process and cope with grief.
  
  
• Practical Assistance: This may include coordinating with hospice services, assisting with advance care planning, and ensuring that the individual’s wishes are communicated and respected.
  
  
• Comfort Measures: Doulas may use various techniques to provide physical comfort, such as soothing touch, music, or aromatherapy.
  
  
• End-of-Life Education: Death doulas often educate individuals and their families about the dying process, helping dispel myths and support a more informed, empowered approach.

 

It is important to note that death doulas do not provide medical care. Instead, they complement the services offered by hospice and healthcare professionals. Their focus is on the emotional, spiritual, and practical aspects of the end-of-life journey, helping create a more compassionate and personalized experience.

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Creating Spaces for Open Conversations on Loss

Dr. Martha Jo and Dr. Michelle discuss the importance of creating spaces for open conversations about loss, grief, and end-of-life experiences. They emphasize the value of vulnerability and connection in deepening understanding and compassion within communities.

 

Dr. Atkins shares insights into Dying School, where individuals of different ages and backgrounds come together to explore the complexities of end-of-life planning, grief, and the impact of loss at different stages of life. They also discuss the importance of navigating the details of grief and the transformative power of shared vulnerability in building meaningful connections.

 

Stories of Profound Beauty in Dying

In one poignant moment from her work as a death doula, Martha Jo Atkins shares a touching story of a woman’s resilience during her final days.

 

Although she was seriously ill, the woman surprised everyone by rallying and expressing joy, saying, “Isn’t it beautiful? Can you hear the flowers?” Martha Jo uses this story to illustrate the tangible and transformative nature of the dying process. She describes the unique language that can accompany dying, offering insight into the transitions that occur and the different ways individuals approach their final moments.

 

She also emphasizes the importance of compassionate witnessing and the wide range of experiences that can unfold during the dying process, showing that each journey is deeply personal and uniquely meaningful.

 

The Changing Landscape of End-of-Life Support

The growing aging population, particularly among baby boomers, has contributed to an increased demand for death doulas. In response, training programs have emerged to help meet this need, though certification and regulation in the field are still evolving.

 

Dr. Martha Jo emphasizes the importance of practical experience. She suggests that individuals seeking a death doula should look for practitioners with hands-on involvement, preferably experience that extends beyond their personal circles.

 

The conversation also explores the potential integration of death doulas into hospice care, as well as ongoing discussions about the professionalization of the field.

 

A Guide to Starting Death Discussions

Martha Jo Atkins emphasizes the importance of doing personal work to help ease the dying process. She suggests addressing unresolved issues, improving difficult relationships, and having honest conversations about end-of-life preferences.

 

She also recommends practical steps, such as creating a will and appointing a durable power of attorney. To help make these conversations easier, she encourages using tools such as Death Over Dinner to facilitate meaningful discussions.

 

Martha Jo also highlights the value of connecting with others, caring for emotional well-being, and incorporating physical activity as part of a holistic approach to wellness.

 

More from Sofia Health

Check out the full episode of the Sofia Unfiltered podcast, "A Death Doula's Perspective on End-of-Life Care", available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

 

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Disclaimer: The Sofia Unfiltered Podcast by Sofia Health is for general informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have. For any health concerns, users should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals.