In this episode of Sofia Unfiltered, Riley and Michelle speak with Sara Wilkinson, Gold Star Spouse and the founder of The Step Up Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing veteran suicide.
Sara's Story: Finding Hope and Healing After Tragic Loss
Sara Wilkinson, a military spouse, shared her profoundly moving journey of love, loss, and resilience during a conversation with Michelle Kole and Riley Rees. She described her 27-year marriage to her high school sweetheart, Chad Wilkinson, who had a vibrant military career, and the devastating loss she experienced when he died by suicide at a young age. This loss not only took her husband but also shattered her identity as a military spouse, a role she deeply cherished.
Sara highlighted the far-reaching impact of suicide on families, emphasizing that it affects not only spouses but also siblings, cousins, and neighbors. Despite the immense pain, Sara’s authenticity and vulnerability have earned her overwhelming support and admiration from people from all walks of life as she navigates the challenging path of grief and finds solace in channeling her love for her late husband into helping others.
Her journey, which she openly shares, has resonated with many who have experienced loss. It is a testament to the strength that can be found in vulnerability and the power of love to transcend tragedy.
Coping with Trauma and Rediscovering Identity
Struggling to define her identity beyond being a devoted military spouse of 27 years, Sara undertook a winding path of self-exploration. Her journey was marked by a mix of methods, from seeking professional therapy and participating in intensive retreats to embarking on solo travels and even adopting a pet pig. Her approach to coping ranged from seeking comfort in isolation and silence to intentionally pursuing social connection.
Along the way, Sara demonstrated an inspiring willingness to accept help from her friends and adapt her support network based on her ever-changing needs. She emphasized the profound importance of human connection and the role it played in her recovery, advocating that people need people—not necessarily in large numbers, but through a few genuine, dependable relationships.
The conversation underscored the significance of allowing oneself to move through the healing process organically, embracing vulnerability, and finding diverse strategies for resilience.
5 Reasons Vulnerability Is a Strength
- Enhanced Human Connection: Vulnerability opens the door to authentic and meaningful connections with others. By showing our true selves, we allow empathy, understanding, and trust to flourish in our relationships.
- Personal Growth and Awareness: Embracing vulnerability is a pathway to self-discovery and personal growth. It encourages self-awareness by breaking down the walls of perfection and allowing us to explore, learn, and better understand our emotions and decisions.
- Building Trust in Relationships: In both personal and professional settings, vulnerability fosters trust. Sharing our fears, hopes, and uncertainties creates a foundation for openness, transparency, and a stronger connection.
- Courage and Resilience: Vulnerability is the birthplace of courage. Facing shame, uncertainty, and fear with openness and honesty requires immense strength. It builds resilience by helping us acknowledge and accept the discomfort that comes with stepping into the unknown.
- Empowerment and Setting Boundaries: Embracing vulnerability empowers individuals to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their well-being. It creates the freedom to say no, make decisions based on personal needs, and surround oneself with positive influences.
Sofia Health connects you to traditional, integrative, nutritional, holistic, and spiritual healing professionals to help you personalize your healing journey.
Transforming the Language of Loss
Sara opens up about her healing journey after the loss of Chad, emphasizing the importance of changing how we ask about someone’s well-being. Instead of the common question, “How are you?” she suggests asking, “How are you doing today?” This simple shift allows individuals to acknowledge both good and bad days, giving them the space to be honest about their feelings.
The Step Up Foundation
The Step Up Foundation, founded in 2021, is a remarkable testament to Sara’s resilience and dedication to honoring her late husband, Chad, while supporting veterans. The foundation was inspired by a workout created in Chad’s memory, the Chad1000X, which involves a thousand step-ups with a 45-pound pack and has gained global recognition.
The Step Up Foundation’s mission extends beyond physical challenges by promoting mental health awareness and support for veterans.
Its Live Big events encourage individuals to embrace life’s challenges and emphasize the importance of trying, even when failure is possible. These events, including a 10K open-water swim to a lighthouse, foster community and help reconnect veterans with their support networks.
How You Can Support Veterans
Sara discusses the complexities of addressing the rising issue of suicide within the veteran community. She emphasizes the need for a collaborative approach, highlighting that there is no single fix for such a multifaceted problem. Sara calls for a shift away from waiting for the military or government organizations to solve the issue and instead encourages veterans and their loved ones to take initiative.
By creating a network of support and education, individuals can identify warning signs, prioritize symptoms, and seek the most appropriate treatments. Sara’s approach combines empathy, understanding, and practical steps to address the crisis, ultimately saving lives and supporting those who have served their country through organizations like The Step Up Foundation.
Efforts to Prevent Veteran Suicide
Sara emphasizes the importance of breaking the stigma surrounding suicide and mental health issues and encourages open conversations about this critical topic. She highlights the significance of seeking help and providing unwavering support for veterans and active-duty military members who may be struggling. The Step Up Foundation plays a vital role in raising awareness and supporting veterans through various programs and events.
Sara’s story serves as a poignant reminder that reaching out and embracing vulnerability can lead to healing and, ultimately, save lives.
More from Sofia Health
Check out the full episode of the Sofia Unfiltered podcast, "Veteran Support: How Can We Step Up? - Sofia Health", available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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Disclaimer: The Sofia Unfiltered Podcast by Sofia Health is for general informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have. For any health concerns, users should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals.
