In this episode of Sofia Unfiltered, Lauren speaks with Jason Clawson, therapist and co-founder of The Hope Kit.
A Father's Journey through Grief and Parenting
At the beginning of the episode, Jason shares his personal story. He and his family were enjoying life together when they received devastating news: his wife had stage four colon cancer. They were given a short timeframe of two to three years to navigate the disease. Despite treatments, the news never improved, and after nine months, Jason found himself at his wife’s funeral.
The aftermath was emotionally overwhelming as Jason faced the difficult reality of becoming a single parent to his two boys. He put on a mask of strength and hid his emotions to fulfill the roles others expected of him. However, his 13-year-old son noticed his inner struggle, which led Jason to reflect on the toll it was taking on his family.
5 Steps to Help Deal with Grief:
- Acknowledge and express your emotions.
- Seek support from loved ones or a support group.
- Prioritize self-care for your physical and mental well-being.
- Establish new routines and rituals to provide structure.
- Consider seeking professional help if needed.
Which is the Best Way to Handle Your Grief After a Loss?
In this heartfelt conversation, Jason shares his journey of healing and the importance of vulnerability throughout the grieving process. He describes how he wore a “tough guy mask” that prevented him from truly healing. Eventually, he reached a breaking point and decided to open up to his closest family and friends, inviting them into his home to share what he was going through.
Jason emphasizes that although people often want to help, they may not know how or what to say. This can create a support vacuum, where the grieving person feels alone even when others care deeply. He explains that reconnecting with people who care about us is essential because the opposite of grief and depression is connection.
To manage the support he received, Jason created a support team with a designated captain who could communicate his needs and coordinate assistance. This team helped with responsibilities such as laundry, meals, and childcare to reduce his daily stress. Jason also implemented a code word system so he could signal when he needed immediate help.
Through this process, Jason learned that he did not always have to be the strongest person in the room. Accepting support allowed him to become stronger, not weaker.
The conversation also explores the idea of choosing a different kind of “hard” by embracing vulnerability and communication. Jason and Lauren discuss how clear communication can help delegate roles and responsibilities within a support team. Overall, the conversation highlights the transformative power of vulnerability, the healing potential of connection, and the importance of reaching out for support during the grieving process.
Inviting Support Into Your Life
Jason shares how he applied the concept of a recovery team, often used in addiction recovery, to his own healing process. He realized that people sometimes need permission to step in and help. By sharing his struggles and removing his mask, he allowed others to support him in meaningful ways.
Jason emphasizes the importance of inviting people into your life and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This creates space for honest emotional sharing, which can lead to healing and a greater sense of hope.
He advises starting with a therapist or a trusted friend and gradually expanding your support team.
The discussion also touches on the societal expectation of self-reliance and the shame or guilt people may feel when asking for help. Lauren acknowledges that personal growth is always evolving and often requires constant adaptation. They also reflect on the dilemma faced by those who want to help but have not been invited in, discussing whether it is better to wait for an invitation or gently ask for permission to offer support.
How Can You Support a Friend Who Is Dealing with Grief?
Jason and Lauren discuss the importance of building relationships that allow for deeper, more meaningful conversations. Jason recalls how, while attending church, he often wore a mask and received only surface-level offers of help. What he truly longed for was someone who could sit with him in his emotions, provide consistent support, and ask genuine, feeling-based questions.
Jason advises being patient, consistent, and willing to ask open-ended questions that invite deeper conversations.
Lauren emphasizes the compounding effect of consistency in building trust and earning the invitation to become a supportive presence in someone’s life. They discuss the importance of empathetic interactions and contrast them with superficial courtesy. The conversation highlights the desire many grieving people have for someone who can listen, understand, and sit with them in their emotions, even without having all the answers.
They emphasize the value of being consistent and walking alongside someone through difficult times.
Creating a New Narrative: Healing Through Happiness
In the face of grief and trauma, Jason realized the need to create new, happy memories for himself and his sons. Together, they began a healing journey by building a supportive team and engaging in activities that encouraged connection. Through a lemonade stand and the creation of The Hope Kit, they found purpose in bringing joy to others.
This transformation helped heal their wounded hearts and inspired others to make positive changes.
Jason and his sons intentionally created new, positive memories after the traumatic loss of his wife to cancer. They worked to reframe their mindset and seek joy, connection, and positivity. Through activities such as running a lemonade stand and delivering sunshine boxes to others, they found purpose in helping people and inspiring hope.
They also developed resources, including support cards, to help others navigate grief and difficult emotions.
Their story highlights the power of community, mindset shifts, and the healing potential of connection.
Discovering Answers Within Yourself
Jason and Lauren discuss the transformative power of mindset and self-discovery in overcoming grief and finding happiness. Jason shares how he found healing by quieting outside noise, practicing mindful meditation, and asking himself meaningful questions.
Through this process, he was able to shift his focus from negativity to positivity and create a bucket list of joyful experiences. He expresses gratitude for his trials because they led to personal growth and allowed him to help others.
Lauren acknowledges the importance of embracing pain and actively participating in the healing process. She highlights that even small steps can lead to meaningful change.
Finding Appreciation Through Pain
In the concluding part of the conversation, Jason shares how embracing life can turn one’s mess into a masterpiece. He reflects on the blessings he has experienced, including his new wife’s unexpected pregnancy after being told she could not have children.
He emphasizes the importance of hard work, resilience, and facing challenges to appreciate and enjoy the meaningful parts of life. Lauren congratulates Jason and acknowledges his resilience, generosity, and willingness to give back to others.
They close the conversation by discussing the importance of cultivating a strong support system and maintaining a positive mindset through life’s challenges.
More from Sofia Health
Check out the full episode of the Sofia Unfiltered podcast, "The Art of Dealing with Grief with Jason Clawson," available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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