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Melissa Russell is certified as a yoga therapist by the International Association of Yoga Therapists and as an iRest meditation teacher by the Integrative Restoration Institute. She uses movement, breath, meditation, and lifestyle modifications to help people find better health and well-being ph…
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Izabela Marić, certified teacher of yoga and yoga therapy, ITEC alumni, certified Holistic Life Coach, founder of Verbasana yoga studio, president of the Croatian Yoga Association, B.Sc. Indologist. Namaste, my name is Izabela and I encountered yoga more than twenty years ago. I am a certified y…
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Greetings everyone!:) My name is Shaazia and I’m a registered International phase Counseling therapist, Wellness & Life coach and Medical Herbalist. I specialize in all areas of mental health and wellness, as well as Holistic well-being, and work with clients from all over the world. My clients are…
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Hey beautiful! It’s so wonderful you’ve dropped by. Once upon a time, I was a boss babe like you on the run. I wasn’t taking care of myself and my skin was suffering. I wanted to look as confident as I felt but I tended to hide under makeup, self conscious. It wasn’t until I learned the secrets …
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FAQs:
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a type of talk therapy that’s designed to help individuals and couples address medical, psychological, personal, or interpersonal factors impacting sexual satisfaction. The goal of sex therapy is to help people move past physical and emotional challenges to have a satisfying relationship and pleasurable sex life.
What is a Sex Therapist?
A sex therapist is a licensed healthcare provider who helps you address any emotional or mental roadblocks that are causing or are related to sexual issues. A sex therapist could be a social worker, medical doctor, or psychologist, but they must have specialized training in sexual health and sexual problems. A sex therapist can work with individuals or partners to help them resolve sexual difficulties, such as performance anxiety or intimacy issues.
What is the Difference Between a Sex Therapist and a Sex Counselor?
Both sex therapists and sex counselors must be certified through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). They both have extensive training in human sexuality. The difference is in how the two experts address sexual concerns. Sex therapists use psychotherapy (talk therapy) to help people with sexual issues — whether they’re simple or more complex. Sex counselors take more of an action-based approach by offering education and techniques to address short-term problems.
What is the Difference Between a Sex Therapist and a Sexologist?
Though "sex therapist" and "sexologist" are sometimes used interchangeably, they are two distinct roles with different areas of expertise and training. A sex therapist provides psychotherapy and counseling to individuals and couples dealing with the emotional, psychological, and relationship aspects of their sexual lives.
A sexologist is an expert in the scientific study of human sexuality. They may have an academic or research-oriented background, provide education and public health services, or conduct research on sexual behavior, relationships, and sexual health. Though some clinical sexologists may offer sex therapy services, most sexologists focus primarily on researching human sexuality.
Does Sex Therapy Involve Touching?
It’s important to know that sex therapy sessions don’t involve any physical contact or sexual activity between you and your therapist. If you feel uncomfortable with any aspect of therapy, you should tell your therapist or stop seeing them and file a complaint. Your sex therapists may assign homework such as activities, and exercises that you do in the privacy of your home. This may involve experimentation, such as role-playing, or exercises to build trust and intimacy — whether with yourself or with your partner(s).
What are the Most Effective Sex Therapy Techniques?
The effectiveness of sex therapy techniques depends largely on the individual or couple and their specific concerns. However, some universally recognized techniques include sensate focus exercises for building intimacy and addressing performance anxiety, cognitive-behavioral techniques for challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about sex, and communication exercises to improve open dialogue about sexual desires and boundaries.
Does Sex Therapy Work?
Sex therapy is most effective when the male participant's partner is involved, especially for those with stress-related erectile dysfunction (ED), as it resolves the issue 50%-70% of the time. Individual therapy yields lower success rates, and treatment is less effective if a man withdraws after just one or two sessions. Multiple counseling sessions can support men preparing for medical or surgical ED treatments. A therapist can assist couples in treatment agreements and enhance sexual communication skills. Single men may also gain from counseling on discussing treatments like penile injections or vacuum constriction devices with their partners.
How is Sex Therapy Different from Other Types of Therapy?
While Sex Therapy shares many techniques and approaches with other forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or couples therapy, it specializes in addressing sexual issues specifically. This means that sex therapists have additional training and understanding of human sexual response, sexual health, sexual communication, and the many factors that can influence these areas.
Can Sex Therapy Techniques Help with Issues Concerning Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity?
Yes, sex therapy techniques can be beneficial in addressing issues related to sexual orientation or gender identity. Sex therapists are trained to provide a safe, non-judgmental environment to help individuals explore their sexuality and gender, deal with feelings of confusion or fear, and navigate any challenges they might face due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.
What is the Difference Between Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy?
The choice between sex therapy and couples therapy depends on the specific issues you are facing within your relationship. If sexual problems are a significant concern, sex therapy might be the most appropriate choice. However, if your relationship issues encompass broader aspects of communication and connection, couples therapy may be a better fit. Remember that both forms of therapy can be conducted as a couple, so it's essential to communicate openly with your therapist about your goals and expectations.
What is the Cost of Sex Therapy?
Most sex therapists see individual clients for 45-60 minute sessions at rates between $120-$180 and relationships/couples for 75-90 minute sessions at rates between $190-$310. These rates may vary widely based on the availability of certified sex therapists in your area and on general mental health costs in your state.
Does Health Insurance Cover Sex Therapy?
Some insurance plans cover sex therapy. Once you select a therapist, call them to ask whether services are covered by your insurance provider. If payment cannot be worked out through insurance, many therapists can adjust their fees. Sex therapy clinics tend to be less expensive than private therapists. The cost of sex therapy programs varies but generally ranges between $600 and 2,300 dollars, depending on the nature of the problem and the response to treatment.
Is Online Sex Therapy Expensive?
Sex therapy is typically more expensive than traditional therapy since it’s a more specialized therapy service. However, online sex therapy is usually more affordable than in-person therapy. The cost of online sex therapy covers a wide range. It can cost as little as $55 or more than $195 per session. Couples counseling tends to cost more than individual counseling. Online sex therapy costs vary depending on:
1. the telehealth service you use
2. if you have health insurance
3. if your health insurance covers sex therapy
4. the therapist
5. where you live
How Sex Therapy Works
Sex therapy is like any type of psychotherapy. You treat the problem or issue by talking through your experiences, feelings, concerns, and behavior. Unlike some psychotherapies, sex therapy also teaches skills to address the presented issue or issues.
Without a doubt, there is a great difference between how a Christian sex therapist understands and treats sexual concerns and how non-Christians understand and approach sex therapy. A biblically-based worldview understands the gift of sexuality and sex as originating in the mind and heart of God, how Original Sin has corrupted it, and what behaviors are within His design for sex.
Even if you are in a relationship, you can still choose to go to sex therapy alone versus as a couple. You need to assess what is the best option for you so that you are comfortable with therapy. Together with your therapist, you will work out healthier coping mechanisms to improve future responses.
During your initial sessions, the therapist will talk with you individually or the couple to assess and determine the nature of the problem. A trained sex therapist is not going to judge, shame, or take one person’s side or attempt to persuade anyone.
While this might seem obvious, it sometimes is not. Everyone will keep their clothes on. You will not be asked to bring in a recording of any sexual behavior or experience.
Stages of Sex Therapy
Most sex therapy is based on something called the PLISSIT model. It’s a framework for sex therapy and counseling with four levels. In each session, you move downward through these stages. The stages are led by your therapist, and most people see significant movements within the first three levels.
1. Permission (P): your therapist will identify key areas to address and ensure they have permission to have these discussions with you.
2. Limited Information (LI): your therapist will provide some details about body or sexual functioning, solutions, methods, or exercises to build your knowledge.
3. Specific Suggestions (SS): based on the above information, your therapist will provide you with specific solutions or exercises to put into practice.
4. Intensive Therapy (IT): this could be a referral to another professional for a more specific or specialized issue, guidance for couples or individual counseling to work on deeper underlying concerns.
What Psychosexual Therapy Can Help With
In-person and online psychosexual therapy can help with a range of concerns and issues that might be affecting your relationship. This includes:
1. Erectile Dysfunction – including porn-related E.D.
2. Premature Ejaculation
3. Difficulty ejaculating
4. Sex addiction
5. Porn addiction
6. Enhancing sexual relationships
7. Vaginismus
8. Vulval / Vaginal pain
9. Low / no desire
10. Desire discrepancy between partners
11. Managing unwanted sexual behaviors
12. Arousal difficulties
13. Anorgasmia
14. Sexual Aversion / Fear of intimacy
15. Building self-confidence
16. Intimacy after trauma/abuse
17. Impact of Menopause on Intimacy
18. Understanding sexual orientation
Benefits of Sex Therapy for Low Libido
Sex therapy offers numerous benefits for individuals and couples experiencing sexual difficulties. Through open discussions, clients can better understand their emotional and physical needs, fostering deeper connections with their partners. Here are some of the other benefits of sex therapy that you should know.
1. Improved Intimacy
Relationships between partners can become more emotionally strong and intimate with the help of counseling and psychotherapy. Couples can strengthen their bond and experience more intimacy by resolving underlying issues.
2. Increased Sexual Confidence
Psychotherapy techniques also help couples develop a healthier sense of sexual self-esteem. Sex therapy can build confidence and help people embrace their sexuality by addressing their fears.
3. Expanded Sexual Knowledge and Skills
Talk therapy techniques are more effective in identifying any underlying fear or sexual trauma affecting your life. Sex therapy can provide you with instructions on sexual anatomy, health, and methods to increase pleasure and desire. Couples learn new abilities, better understand their bodies, and find new ways for pleasure and happiness.
4. Overcoming Trauma and Resolving Emotional Blocks
Psychiatrist therapy can help overcome emotional barriers, heal sexual trauma, and help people reclaim their sexuality in a safe environment. This is the most effective therapy for women to help them come out of a traumatic sexual event that happened earlier in life.
5. Relationship Strengthening
Sexual psychotherapy is the best option for couples to make their relationship stronger. Couples can deepen their connection, and reignite their desire by overcoming sexual difficulties. All you need is the guidance of a good sexologist to overcome all challenges.
6. Stress Reduction and Improved Well-being
Engaging in sex therapy can also improve the overall quality of your life, boost general wellness, and reduce stress. Individuals may feel relaxed, and their anxiety may decrease as a result of this procedure.
7. Long-term Sexual Satisfaction
The advantages of sex therapy go beyond addressing immediate problems. They also give couples the knowledge they need to experience long-lasting sexual satisfaction. A fulfilling sex life has also been associated with better moods, more self-esteem, and an overall higher quality of life.
10 Sex Therapy Techniques and Exercises
Sex therapy techniques are tools that therapists use to guide individuals or couples toward improved sexual function and intimacy. Here's a closer look at ten commonly employed sex therapy techniques and exercises:
1. Sensate focus
This technique involves guided, non-sexual touch exercises progressing to more intimate touch. The aim is to shift the focus away from performance and sensory experience, helping reduce anxiety and increase intimacy.
2. Communication exercises
These exercises enhance communication about sexual needs, desires, and boundaries. They involve role-play scenarios, structured conversations, or homework assignments to practice at home.
3. Cognitive-behavioral techniques
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) approaches can help identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts or beliefs about sex. Techniques include cognitive restructuring, behavioral experiments, or exposure exercises.
4. Education about sexual response
Sex education, in general, and knowledge about the sexual response cycle, variations in desire, arousal, and orgasm can empower individuals and couples, helping them understand what's normal and when there might be a problem.
5. Body image exercises
These exercises aim to improve body image and increase sexual confidence, leading to a more fulfilling sex life. This could include mirror exercises, cognitive restructuring of negative body beliefs, or mindfulness practices.
6. Mindfulness practices
Mindfulness can increase body awareness, enhance intimacy, and reduce anxiety. This might involve guided mindfulness exercises, meditation, or mindful touch.
7. Dealing with sexual trauma
Therapists might use techniques such as trauma-informed cognitive-behavioral therapy or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to help individuals process and cope with past sexual trauma.
8. Addressing sexual anxieties
Techniques might include relaxation exercises, cognitive restructuring of anxious thoughts, or exposure to anxiety-provoking situations.
9. Exercises for managing sexual dysfunction
This might involve specific behavioral exercises (e.g., the "start-stop" technique for premature ejaculation), using aids or medications, or psychoeducation about sexual function.
10. Desensitization techniques
For issues like vaginismus or erectile dysfunction, therapists might guide individuals or couples through exercises to gradually reduce fear and increase comfort with sexual activities.
What Happens During a Sex Therapy Session
During sessions, you and your sex therapist will work together to identify and change thoughts and behaviors that are interfering with your sexual life. You may see your therapist by yourself or with your romantic or sexual partner(s).
Your therapist may ask you questions about your:
1. Health and sexual background.
2. Sex education.
3. Beliefs about sex.
4. Specific sexual concerns.
Talking about sex can be awkward or uncomfortable. Sex therapists recognize this and do their best to make you feel comfortable. As conversation is the main part of psychotherapy, you need to be actively involved in the therapy. The trust and relationship between you and your therapist are essential to working together effectively and benefiting from the therapy.
Your sex therapists may assign homework — activities, and exercises that you do in the privacy of your home. This may involve experimentation, such as role-playing, or exercises to build trust and intimacy — whether with yourself or with your partner(s).
It’s important to know that sex therapy sessions don’t involve any physical contact or sexual activity between you and your therapist. If you feel uncomfortable with any aspect of therapy, you should tell your therapist or stop seeing them and file a complaint.
Common Misconceptions about Sex Therapy
From time to time, some clients may benefit from sex therapy either by themselves or with their sexual partners. Unsurprisingly, some of their fears about sex therapy are connected to misconceptions that have become commonplace in our culture. Below are some common questions that you may have about sex therapy that are rooted in misconceptions:
1. Am I going to have to have sex in front of the therapist? The short answer is not. Though sex therapists will likely assign homework that is related to physical intimacy, the therapy space will not involve any kind of sexual activity or nudity.
2. Why would I need sex therapy if my problems aren’t that bad? Much like any mental or physical health problem, difficulties in sex are easier to resolve if addressed early on. When you begin experiencing dysfunction, it’s easier to identify a simple solution earlier through sex therapy. On the other hand, you may not have access to that solution if the problem gets worse.
3. Will my relationship end if I need sex therapy? Not necessarily. The truth is, if you are experiencing sexual dissatisfaction in your relationship, you are more likely to have success in your relationship if you seek sex therapy.
4. Will my problems with sex be too weird for a sex therapist? As sex therapists specialize in supporting people with problems with sexuality, they’ve seen it all. In training, sex therapists are exposed to and learn about a wide variety of challenges. It is almost guaranteed that they have worked with other people who have had the same problem.
5. Can I even see a sex therapist if I am alone? Of course, you can. Sex therapists work with all different types of people. This ranges from people who are single to those who are partnered, to those who are in polyamorous relationships. If you are single, seeking support can help you address your needs before engaging with future sexual partners.
What to Look for in Online Sex Therapy Programs
If you are considering online sex therapy programs then here are some tips on how to choose the best one:
1. Qualifications: Make sure the professional you’re paired with is certified in sex therapy (look for AASECT certification) or at least has further training in human sexuality than a general therapist.
2. Weigh your options: It’s OK to shop around! You can try out a few therapists before you find one who’s the right fit for you and any partners.
3. Insurance or cost: Most therapy apps don’t take insurance, but if that’s important to you, do a little research to find out whether they accept yours. If they don’t, consider the out-of-pocket therapy cost that’s right for your budget.
4. What they cover: A good sex therapist addresses sexual issues, but a great one takes into account physiological experiences, too. Their therapy services may help you explore how your mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational health affect your symptoms.
5. Specialties: You can seek out sex therapists who specialize in attributes specific to your sex life:
- LGBTQIA+ relationships
- BDSM
- polyamory
Tips on How to Practice Mindfulness for Sexual Wellness
Sexual mindfulness is about paying attention — with intention and purpose, and without judgment — to what is happening during intimacy. It’s about being present and accepting the moment as it is.
Here are some tips to get started:
1. Start outside of sex. Begin by practicing mindfulness in your nonsexual life. It takes purpose, effort, and frequent practice to develop mindfulness skills. Guided meditations on YouTube or at a yoga class may be a good place to start. Once you are comfortable with this concept, you can incorporate mindfulness into your sex life.
2. Avoid distractions during intimacy. Turn off your TV and silence the cell phone. Shut the door so pets can’t wander in. Create a sacred space around you and your partner.
3. The transition from your daily chores to intimacy. If you give yourself time to prepare for intimacy and wind down from the workday, you’re less likely to be interrupted by thoughts like “Did I turn on the dishwasher?” or to start composing work emails in your head. Writing down your to-do list before sex may help clear your mind.
4. Breathe. Focus on your breathing. Sync your breath with your partner’s if you can.
5. Engage all your senses. Light a candle. Try some quiet music. Feel different textures. Then, during sex, ask yourself: What do I feel? What do I smell? What do I see? What can I hear? What do I taste? Focus on each sensation.
6. Make eye contact. Try to use each moment of intimacy to rediscover your partner.
7. Don’t worry about wandering. When random thoughts pop into your mind, don’t berate yourself. Simply notice these thoughts, then gently bring your attention back to the present moment.
8. Cultivate gratitude. Have a sense of gratitude for the special moment that you are sharing with your partner. Gratitude releases dopamine, which enhances libido.
9. Release your expectations. When having sex, try to let go of your expectations about being perfect, having to perform, or needing to experience an orgasm. Release your need to control, direct, or have a routine.
10. Be kind to yourself. Let go of self-criticism, negative body image concerns, and sexual shame. If these thoughts pop up, don’t try to argue with them. Notice them, and picture them floating away.
11. Be kind to your partner. Be willing to set aside judgments. As needed, gently set aside critical thoughts. Being less judgmental of others will help you be less critical of yourself as well.
How to Find a Certified Sex Therapist Near Me
A certified sex therapist can be a licensed psychiatrist, psychologist, marriage and family therapist, or clinical social worker. These mental health experts undergo extensive additional training in human sexuality to be accredited as certified sex therapists.
1. Start your search with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). This organization is responsible for overseeing clinical training for sexual health practitioners. They also manage credentials for these healthcare providers. If someone is licensed and certified, you’ll be able to find them through AASECT.
2. You can also do a Google search for therapists in your area or call your local hospital or community education office. Many of these organizations will happily provide information on sex therapists in their hospital network.
3. You can also ask your insurance company. They may be able to give you a list of names of certified sex therapists. You can work through the list until you find the sex therapist you want.
4. If you’d like a more personal recommendation, talk with your health care provider, gynecologist, or urologist. Many doctors have met and recommend sex therapists to their patients every day. They might be able to direct you toward a provider whose style closely aligns with your own.
5. You can also talk to your friends. Bringing up intimate details can be difficult for some people, but if you’re comfortable asking a friend, they may be able to recommend a doctor you and your partner can trust.
Sources:
Apple
Google (online)
Office 365 (online)
Outlook
Outlook.com (online)
Yahoo! (online)