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FAQs:
What is Grief Counseling?
It’s a form of therapy designed to help people work through the various stages and emotions of grief following a loss. Counseling can help individuals avoid some of the more acute manifestations of grief and process their emotions in a healthy manner.
How Does Grief Counseling Work?
Each counselor develops their own strategies for working with clients dealing with grief. However, their strategies are often based on established methods. Many counselors start by having the client process the story of the death. Then, the counselor has the client talk directly about the loss event itself. After learning about the events surrounding the loved one’s passing, the counselor will explore their history and relationship. As the client talks about the deceased, the counselor begins identifying the emotions and challenges that the client is struggling with. This may include trauma, depression, or an increased focus on one of the stages of grief. From here, the counselor may use different techniques or methods to help the client cope with their emotions.
What is a Grief Counselor?
Grief counselors are specially trained to help people cope with grief. They are capable of working with all types of people and addressing all types of loss, big and small. Some grief counselor professionals do, however, choose to specialize in specific kinds of grief counseling (i.e., terminal medical diagnoses or trauma during military service).
What Does a Grief Counselor Do?
The primary responsibility of grief counselors is to assist others in coping with loss. Counseling is a relatively individualized process, but the ultimate goals of treatment generally remain the same. Grief counselor professionals utilize various techniques to help clients accept the loss, work through the associated pain, and adjust to life afterward. Every case is unique, but the process usually consists of educating patients about the normal progression of grief, encouraging the expression of feelings, helping to build new relationships, and discussing how to navigate life moving forward.
Grief counselors generally work with patients one-on-one, but they may also provide services to larger groups. Regardless of the setting, these professionals are prepared to work with all sorts of loss and can identify and treat the various symptoms of grief including suicidal thoughts, uncontrollable crying, lack of appetite, sleeping problems, irritability, panic attacks, and feelings of hopelessness.
Because grief counseling is often part of the continuum of care, a grief counselor must be able to work alongside other therapeutic and medical professionals. They can provide services in a wide variety of places including hospitals, mental health clinics, and funeral homes. Full-time employment is typical, with some jobs requiring evening, night, and weekend hours. Grief counselors may also choose to establish their own private practices.
What is the Difference Between Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy?
In general, the difference between counseling and therapy is merely one of semantics.
Both counseling and therapy use discussion between the client and the mental health professional to help the client address emotional, mental, or behavioral issues and solve problems.
However, the terms “counseling” and “therapy” are sometimes used in slightly different ways; counseling is more often used to refer to sessions focused on assisting clients who are dealing with everyday stressors and looking for ways to cope with normal issues and problems, while therapy is more frequently used to describe sessions in which clients are battling more difficult, more pervasive, and/or more chronic problems, like depression, anxiety, or addiction.
Thus, although grief counseling and grief therapy are basically the same things, “grief counseling” may refer to the counseling that any individual might receive after losing a loved one, while “grief therapy” is more likely to refer to sessions that a client engages in when they are experiencing issues outside of the normal range of responses due to their grief.
Is Grief Counseling Effective?
Research has shown that grief counseling can be an effective way to manage your grief and help you heal.
A 2017 study published in the journal Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy found that those who participated in grief counseling after losing a partner or close relative reported fewer symptoms in the long run. These findings suggest that grief counseling can have long-term benefits.
A 2015 study published in the journal Counseling & Psychotherapy Research found that people who participated in bereavement counseling felt that:
- It was easier to talk to someone who wasn’t a friend or family member.
- It was helpful to have someone normalize and validate their experiences.
- It was good to have unhelpful thinking patterns challenged, like those related to guilt or anger.
What are the Principles of Grief Counseling?
According to Harris and Winokuer (2019), the principles of grief counseling include;
- creating a safe and supportive environment for the client,
- validating their emotions and experiences,
- exploring their thoughts and feelings related to the loss,
- helping them develop coping skills, and
- promoting a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives.
What is the Importance of Grief Counseling?
This type of counseling can help someone find a supportive environment that allows them to talk freely about what they are feeling and experiencing. Grief is a complicated human response that is hard to explain to someone else, even when you are going through it.
Talking with a therapist who understands the human mind from a scientific and human perspective can be beneficial. And, a lot of times, it’s also just easier to talk to an outside source who is there to listen to you, with no interjections of their pain or struggles.
Grief, in some capacity, will always be a permanent part of our lives. But counseling can help lessen its impact of it over time. It does not aim to take the pain away—nothing can ever truly take it away. But the goal is to help you manage the symptoms you feel so that your normal daily functioning skills will not be affected.
Are Grief and Depression the Same Thing?
Depression and grief share many symptoms but are distinct experiences. Understanding the distinction can ensure that grieving or depressed individuals receive the proper treatment to cope with their emotions.
Grief is an emotional response to loss. It is a feeling of deep sorrow, typically due to someone’s passing. People also refer to it as broken heart syndrome. Depression is a mental state that produces a loss of interest and a persistent feeling of sadness. It is also one of the main stages of grief.
After a major loss, people often experience anger and guilt. These feelings are rooted in the past. You may feel guilty for not saying “I love you” one last time or continually replay “what/if” scenarios in your head. After dwelling on the past, most people gradually bring their attention to the present. You start to pay attention to how your life is different due to the loss. This often leads to depression.
Grief counseling offers a way to deal with depression and other emotions connected to grief. A counselor can help replace negative thoughts with positive ones and develop strategies for coping with moments of stress or depression.
How Much Does Grief Counseling Cost?
A single therapy session costs between $100 and $200 in the United States. However, the price varies from state to state. The training and experience of the therapist or counselor also influence the cost of therapy and counseling sessions. You can also find low-cost or free grief counseling online through websites. However, online grief counseling may not work for everyone. If you choose to work with a local counselor, you may receive help covering the costs. Private insurance help cover the costs of grief counseling.
What is Grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including:
- Divorce or relationship breakup
- Loss of health
- Losing a job
- Loss of financial stability
- A miscarriage
- Retirement
- Death of a pet
- Loss of a cherished dream
- A loved one's serious illness
- Loss of a friendship
- Loss of safety after a trauma
- Selling the family home
5 Stages of Grief
Grief counseling is often used when you cannot deal with grief and continue with your life in a meaningful way. One of the steps of counseling is acknowledging the five stages of grief:
1. Denial
Denial is often the first stage of grief. It helps your mind deal with the sudden loss of a loved one. Denial tends to create a state of shock or a feeling of numbness. You cannot accept the loss, so you deny reality. You may also deny your emotions. Denial is a helpful emotion. It makes it easier to only focus on the emotions that you can handle. It gives you time to process your feelings. However, as the denial starts to fade away, the emotions that you suppressed can come rushing back.
2. Anger
Most people experience anger during the grieving process. You may even direct your anger at the departed. For example, you may feel betrayed that they left you. Others may direct their anger at God, doctors, or friends and family who could have intervened somehow. Anger often comes from a lack of connection. For example, you may feel lost after losing a loved one. Anger helps fill this void by giving you somewhere to direct your energy. While anger can lead to poor decision-making and other consequences, it is also a sign of the intensity of your loss.
3. Bargaining
Bargaining sometimes comes before a loss. For example, you may bargain with God to spare your loved one. After the loss, you may continue to bargain. For instance, people often try to form a truce with a higher power, claiming that they will devote their lives to a specific cause if they can reverse the loss. People also frequently use “what/if” scenarios during this stage of grief. You may start replaying the events or circumstances that led to the loss. It is common for grievers to question their actions and wonder if they could have done anything differently to prevent the loss.
4. Depression
Depression can occur at any point during the grieving process. However, depression is more common and often more severe after anger and bargaining. The previous stages keep people focused on the past. You may become so focused on your loss that you are not really in the present moment. When you stop and consider your current situation, you experience depression. Depression often comes from not having the departed in your life anymore. Their loss creates a void in your everyday life that may lead to a loss of enjoyment.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance is the final stage of grief. It occurs when an individual accepts their loss. Finally, they accept the reality of the situation, which allows them to decide on their path forward. Acceptance does not mean that the person is “over” their loss. It simply means that they accept the loss and understand the need to continue living. Individuals who gain acceptance may still experience depression, anger, or bargaining moments. However, they are at a stage where they can start exploring new connections and opportunities.
Primary Objectives of Grief Counseling
One of the first and most critical steps in working through grief is coming to terms with the reality of a loss. Denial is a natural response, allowing individuals to pace their grief and the pain that comes with it. However, to truly cope with grief and heal, individuals must learn to acknowledge their loss.
2. Work Through the Pain
Many people respond to a loss and the ensuing grief by trying to avoid it and suppress their emotions. This only compounds their suffering. An essential part of managing grief is experiencing the pain that comes from it and persevering.
3. Adjust to Life
When people experience grief, it’s generally because they lost someone or something that was a huge part of their lives. Adapting to a loss can be extremely challenging and can even feel like a betrayal. This reasoning can leave people feeling stuck. Grief counseling can help individuals reorient and restructure their lives after a loss.
4. Maintain a Connection
While accepting a loss and adjusting to life after it is essential steps in the grief process, it’s also important to maintain a connection to what was lost. When a loved one dies, for example, it can be helpful for the bereaved to remember the happiness that the person brought instead of focusing only on the pain of the person’s absence.
Benefits of Grief Counseling
Grief counseling isn’t some miracle cure for dealing with loss. It won’t help the bereaved forget about a deceased loved one or avoid the pain of loss. Instead, it can help the bereaved understand, accept, and manage emotions to live a full life — but there’s no guarantee that everyone will experience the same benefits.
The numerous benefits of grief counseling include the following:
1. Reduces Anxiety, Guilt, and Depression
Grief counseling can help individuals manage anxiety and avoid depression by providing them with strategies to work through their emotions constructively. Feelings of guilt are also common for the grief-stricken. They may feel guilty about things they did or didn’t do when their loved one was alive, or for not mourning enough. Counseling can help patients overcome these feelings.
2. Helps People Understand the Grieving Process
Understanding the stages of grief and loss allows individuals to tap into their thoughts and emotions, opening a path to healing. Grief counselors can help patients understand this process.
3. Reminds People There’s More Than One Way to Grieve
People dealing with grief may feel like they’re doing it wrong — that they’re not sad enough or that they’ve been grieving too long — but there’s no “right” way to grieve. Counseling reminds patients of this and helps them recognize that every person’s experience is unique.
4. Helps People Honor the Deceased Without Trauma
Allowing people to express their thoughts and feelings about a deceased loved one is a vital part of the grieving process, and it’s important they be able to do this without experiencing further trauma. Counseling can provide patients with a safe space to talk about the deceased and honor the deceased’s memory, which can be a tremendous source of comfort and relief.
5. Helps People Understand That Grief Can Be Caused by Different Kinds of Loss
Though grief is traditionally associated with the death of someone close, people may grieve for many different reasons: losing a pet, going through a divorce, moving away from family and friends, or being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Counseling can help people give themselves permission to grieve over such things without feeling weak or selfish.
6. Guides Patients Back to Self-Care
Grief can exact a heavy toll, leaving sufferers feeling drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. Counseling can guide patients toward self-care strategies to help them cope and recover, including mindfulness practices and simple tips like exercising and getting enough sleep.
Different Grief Counseling Techniques and Interventions
Many different methods can help individuals work through the loss. Medications such as antidepressants or sedatives can help people manage some symptoms of grief, but these are generally best used as temporary solutions. Grief counseling is considered a more effective and sustainable approach. Each person’s grief journey is unique, and thus a wide variety of grief counseling techniques and interventions are available to help guide them.
1. Talk Therapy
One of the more common counseling tactics, talk therapy involves people talking through their emotions and discussing their loss. A grief counselor can provide a safe space for patients to talk about their deceased loved one, helping them maintain a connection to the person they’ve lost. Talk therapy can be done individually or in a group. Many people find bereavement group counseling helpful in dealing with the symptoms of grief.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), individuals attempt to identify and alter thought patterns that negatively influence their behavior. A grief counselor can help patients recognize and explore these thoughts and develop strategies to lessen the impact they have on their lives.
3. Mindfulness
Individuals engaged in mindfulness — whether through meditation or some other practice — focus on the present moment to become more aware of their thoughts and emotions. Practicing mindfulness can help people ground themselves and work through the complex and overwhelming emotions of grief. A recent study in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience revealed that mindfulness practices can help reduce symptoms of grief and improve emotional resilience following a loss.
4. Complicated Grief Treatment
Between 5% and 10% of bereaved people experience complicated grief, wherein feelings of grief persist and become overwhelming. Complicated grief treatment (CGT) can help patients work through these emotions and adjust to life after a loss.
5. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) helps individuals accept negative emotions and the reality of their loss so they can move forward. Using ACT, counselors help patients distance themselves from their emotions and experiences to better examine and understand them. By focusing on their own values and goals for the future, patients can then convert that understanding into action to work through their grief.
6. Ritual
This is a form of grief counseling that incorporates ritualistic elements — such as farewell ceremonies, writing assignments, or conversations with the deceased person — as a way of dealing with loss. By employing symbolic objects or acts, these rituals provide individuals with an opportunity to act out and express painful emotions, while also preserving a connection to the deceased.
How to Know If You’re Ready for Grief Counseling
There’s no exact way to tell how long grief lasts, or if you’re a good candidate for grief counseling. However, the indicators below should give you an idea of when it may be time to seek out grief counseling.
You might need grief counseling if…
- You’re having difficulty accepting your loss. In particular, your inability to accept your loss goes beyond the initial feelings of shock and denial. It’s normal for your loss to feel surreal in the first few days or weeks. If you find yourself having trouble accepting that your loved one is gone, or you find yourself expecting them to walk through the door any minute even though it's been weeks since their death, consider seeking grief counseling.
- You feel that your life is meaningless. Sometimes when you lose a loved one like a child or spouse, your reason for living seems to die right along with them. Experiencing this level of loss and despair is not a part of the normal grieving process. A grief counselor can help you make sense of your life after the death of your loved one, and to find a renewed purpose as you move forward.
- You’re having suicidal thoughts. Having thoughts of ending your life is a sign that something has gone majorly wrong in your grief process, and you should seek the immediate help of a trained professional. They can help you sort out these suicidal thoughts and feelings that are usually associated with survivor’s guilt.
- You’re experiencing panic attacks. Everyday life without your loved one may seem overwhelming for you. This is normal when you first experience your loss. If the feelings of overwhelming fail to ease, and you begin to experience uncontrollable panic attacks (which, combined with grief, are called grief attacks), it may be a sign that you need to see a grief counselor soon.
You might not need grief counseling if…
1. Feelings of overwhelming sadness ebb and flow. With normal grief, you’ll experience sadness that may at times feel overwhelming. And some days, your sadness will ease up and feel a bit more manageable. This is typical of the grieving process and shouldn’t cause you any alarm. In time, these feelings of overwhelming sadness will decrease.
2. You can’t stop crying. Uncontrollable crying and the inability to be consoled for a few days after suffering a major loss is normal. Allow a few days for you to process your loss before deciding if it’s something more serious. After a few days, your crying spells may ease up a bit.
3. You don’t have much appetite. It’s normal to feel a loss of appetite in the first few days after getting the bad news that someone you love has died. Your body will likely go into shock after hearing the news. You probably won’t have an appetite or be thinking of eating for the first few days. Try and get some nutrition and hydration so that you don’t compromise your health.
4. You’ve accepted the loss. When you get the news that someone you love has died after a prolonged illness, for example, you won't be affected as much as when hearing news of the unexpected loss of a loved one. Your grief reaction won't be the same, and you may not need to seek any grief counseling to help you cope with your loss.
What You Can Expect to Do in Grief Counseling
Whether you choose group therapy, individual, or both, here are some of the things you can expect to cover in grief therapy.
1. Work on Expressing Feelings
In grief counseling, people learn to express what they are feeling, no matter what that looks like. Sometimes, this step is difficult for those who have trouble expressing emotions, but learning to talk about grief is an important part of the process. In therapy sessions, patients may be asked to talk to the deceased, as though they were sitting right there. Or, they may be asked to write letters that express thoughts and feelings left unsaid. Other ways to get in touch with feelings include looking at photos or visiting a gravesite, or and remembering the lost loved one or object, or visiting the grave of a loved one who has died.
2. Becoming Open to New Relationships
This part of the counseling process is there to help people move forward with their lives. This element of counseling helps people view their relationship with the deceased through a different lens. While the memories of a loved one last a lifetime, talking to someone can help people learn to how to incorporate the past with the changes that come in the future. Part of bereavement counseling serves to help the patient keep their hearts open to new relationships–romantic or otherwise.
3. Find a New Identity
During the duration of therapy, the patient must also work through their identity. People view themselves through the relationships they have. A woman may identify as a wife, but when her husband passes away, that identity changes. Or a person who has lost both of their parents may feel that they are no longer someone’s son or daughter. In any case–part of the grieving process is understanding how these losses can affect our identity. Patients may find new purpose in focusing their energy on other existing relationships–strengthening friendships after losing a spouse. Other may find doing volunteer work to help fill a need to care for others.
Questions that a Grief Counselor Will Ask
- What brought you to counseling?
- When did the loss occur?
- How is it affecting you - mind, body, and spirit?
- How is it affecting your ability to function?
- Have you noticed any improvements in functioning during the past while?
- What helps you to cope?
- Who are you able to talk to about this loss?
- What makes it harder to cope?
- Is there a part of this loss that you find yourself "stuck on" - something you keep thinking about over and over? If so, what is that?
How to Find a Good Grief Counselor
Here are five ways to find good grief counseling near me:
1. Internet
You can always take help from the internet to find good grief counseling near me. There are so many ways you can do that. First and foremost, GOOGLE. Google is the best search engine for literally anything that you are looking for. Google it and there you go. You will get hundreds of results with the most relevant ones at the top. You can just type in your specifications as to what sort of a counselor you need, what should be his qualification, his years of experience, the amount of time he can devote to you, whether he is budget-friendly or not, etc. Once you come across a list of grief counselors, you can pick the one that suits you the most and contact him for further details and book an appointment. There are various other search engines including Bing, Gibiru, Yandex, CC Search, etc.
2. Friend/Colleague for Grief Counseling
It is highly possible that anyone from your close friend circle or colleagues may have lost someone dear and have taken grief counseling sessions for their recovery from the loss. It is difficult to talk about your grief to friends or colleagues especially if you are someone who prefers to keep their sorrows to yourself but I am sure you would not want to keep this to yourself as grieving the loss of a beloved one can take a great toll on your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In that case, it is highly recommended that you seek professional help. I am sure it is hard but not entirely impossible. You can try opening up to your best friends and ask them to help you connect with grief counseling near me. I am sure they would be happy to help and won’t judge you if you need any help.
3. Online Grief Counseling
The world is becoming a global village where everything, every business is shifting online. The same is the case with grief counseling. There are multiple platforms where you can interact with grief counselors for coping with loss.
4. Social Media for Grief Counseling
Social media platforms are gaining popularity at a very fast pace with each passing day. It is maximally used by young adults who spend most of their time using applications such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Platforms such as these provide a valuable set of information regarding every day to day matters. You will find a huge number of groups on these applications where people share similar problems as you. You can discuss your problem and remain anonymous at the same time. You can easily search and join such groups and explain what you are going through without the fear of getting judged as you don’t have to reveal your identity. You will be astonished to see the number of responses, suggestions, and ideas you get from these forums. You feel like you are the only one grieving but you don’t know what worse others might be enduring and how willing they can be to help you out.
5. Youtube
Youtube is an American online video-sharing and social media platform that is owned by Google and is the second most visited website after Google. Youtube has the largest and widest variety of visual demonstrations of almost every possible topic you can ever come up with. You will find a huge number of licensed therapists, psychiatrists, grief counselors, and doctors who own a Youtube channel and make videos that can prove to be of great benefit to you. You can enter the subject you want information about and you will get all the relevant material related to your topic. If you type in “good grief counseling near me” Youtube will provide you with information regarding all the grief counselors near you as per your requirement. Not only that but if you are short on money and cannot afford a grief counselor, there are a million videos available on Youtube for free. You can access them whenever and wherever you want. All you need is a good internet connection and you are all set. You can listen to podcasts, watch reality shows, talk shows, and discussions by well-known figures about grief counseling without paying a single penny.
How to Get Started with Grief Counseling
You can decide whether you prefer individual sessions with a grief counselor or group sessions with a support group. Individual sessions offer more privacy and one-on-one interaction. In contrast, group sessions can be reassuring because you're not alone in your grief, and others’ progress can be a source of inspiration.
Hospices and hospitals often offer grief counseling services. If your loved one was in a hospice or hospital, the institution might offer you a grief counselor or support group that you can reach out to.
You may also be able to find a grief counselor through your family, friends, or workplace. Alternatively, your primary care physician can refer you to a qualified professional.
Before you start, you should reach out to your insurance provider to determine whether grief counseling services and the specific practitioner you are going to are covered by your insurance plan.
Sources:
The content herein is provided for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Medical information changes constantly, and therefore the content on this website should not be assumed to be current, complete or exhaustive. Always seek the advice of your doctor before starting or changing treatment. If you think you may have a medical emergency, please call your doctor or 9-1-1 (in the United States) immediately.