Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinicians Near Me

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Cheryl Dantoni

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Break Free. Rebalance. Thrive — Coaching & Reiki for Mind, Body & Soul Rooted in The Health Mind and Body Method Welcome! I’m Cheryl Dantoni, a Certified Health Coach and Shoden-Level Reiki Practitioner with over 10 years of experience helping 100+ individuals transform their relationship with …


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Tiffany Ogle

Tiffany Ogle

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Welcome Everyone! I am excited to work with each and every one of you. My services include Life Coaching, Group Coaching (Business and Personal), Recovery Coaching, and Health and Wellness Coaching, Brain Mapping, and Neuro Coaching (Rewiring the Brain). Mental Health and Substance Abuse Counsel…


FAQs:

What is a Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician?

A Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician is a therapist who has received education specifically focused on the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and its recovery process. They are therapists who specialize in treating victims of narcissistic abuse and typically have extensive training and experience in the following areas:

1. Trauma therapy: Understanding the psychological impact of abuse and how it affects individuals.

2. Personality disorders: Possessing an in-depth knowledge of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and its dynamics.

3. Codependency: Recognizing patterns of codependency that often develop in victims of narcissistic abuse.

4. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Helping individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviors rooted in the abuse.

While many therapists can provide general support, those specializing in narcissistic abuse have a deeper understanding of the specific challenges faced by victims and can tailor their approach accordingly.

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse typically involves emotional abuse via put-downs, accusations, criticism, or threats. A person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may gaslight or contradict you in front of others. Withholding money, silent treatments, isolation, and lying about you to others are other common narcissistic manipulative techniques. The end goal of a narcissist is to control their victim’s behavior so they can maintain their narcissistic supply.

What is Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?

Narcissistic abuse syndrome is a non-medical term that collectively describes the specific and often severe effects of narcissistic manipulation. While this isn’t a recognized mental health condition, many experts acknowledge narcissistic abuse can have a serious, long-lasting impact on mental health. Some people may also refer to this as narcissistic victim syndrome.

How Long Does it Take to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse?

Recovery depends on many factors – the nature of the relationship with the narcissist, the length of the relationship, the different abusive tactics the narcissist used, and the level of isolation, to name a few. Regardless of the intensity of symptoms and disruption that a person is experiencing, there is absolutely hope for recovery with consistent work and stable support – both personal and professional.

Are Narcissists Physically Abusive?

No, not all narcissists are physically abusive, a large percentage of narcissistic abuse survivors were not physically abused. This is one of the reasons they suffered in silence. The wounds are internal. 

Most narcissists use emotional and psychological abuse along with intimidation to control their victims. While many were never physically abused, others say physical abuse did not happen for 5, 10, or more years into the relationship. This can happen because the victim starts to speak up or fight back, the abuser’s love bombing is not working and they feel they are about to lose complete control over their victim, there is some type of stressor that is more than they normally would experience, or there is a change in the victim's behavior to the abuse and it’s not affecting them to the extent the abuser desires. 

And according to some experts, there are narcissists on the lower end of the spectrum that are not abusive. While not all emotional abusers use physical abuse, most physical abusers use emotional abuse.

How to Tell If You’re in a Relationship with a Narcissist?

Recognizing if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, as their behavior often involves manipulation, charm, and shifting dynamics. However, several signs can help you identify if you’re in such a relationship. 

One prominent indicator is a pattern of self-centeredness where the narcissist constantly seeks attention, validation, and admiration while showing little genuine interest in your feelings or needs. They might belittle or invalidate your emotions, using tactics like gaslighting to make you doubt your perceptions. 

Also, narcissists often exhibit a lack of empathy and exploit your vulnerabilities, with a tendency to manipulate situations for their benefit. You may find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, fearing their reactions or anger, and they might become angry or defensive if they don’t receive the attention they believe they deserve. 

Finally, narcissists may isolate you from your support network, exert control over decisions, and exhibit extreme jealousy or envy. Recognizing these signs and seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can be crucial in assessing and addressing a potential narcissistic relationship.

What Does Narcissistic Abuse Feel Like?

Narcissistic abuse often causes emotional trauma, which can deeply affect a victim’s mental health over time. Like other forms of psychological abuse and emotional abuse, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Victims may also struggle with regulating emotions, leading to mood swings, anger outbursts, or emotional numbness as a result of these mental health issues.

Does a Narcissist Know They are Abusive?

Narcissists will do whatever it takes to get their needs met, which can often result in narcissistic abuse. This can include all forms of abuse–whether it be emotional (such as narcissistic gaslighting or explosions of narcissistic rage), financial, physical, or any other kind. Some narcissists, such as malignant narcissists, actually enjoy abusing others. It’s important to know that NPD occurs on a spectrum, and many narcissists don’t actively seek to abuse and hurt others. Many are entirely unaware that their efforts to meet their own needs are harmful to others. Even if it’s done without intention or maliciousness, it’s still important to understand that no abuse is excusable or acceptable.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school, or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

What is the Average Cost of a Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician?

The cost of therapy can fluctuate depending on various factors such as the therapist’s level of expertise, their area of specialization, and the type of therapy offered. According to the data available, therapy sessions range from $50 to $200 per hour. It’s important to remember that many therapists also offer a sliding scale fee structure based on income, thereby making therapy a more accessible service for all.

4 Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

The narcissistic abuse cycle refers to a typical dynamic that may occur when in a relationship with a narcissist. The cycle includes themes of deceit, manipulation, power, and control. It’s important to be aware of these common factors early on, as they can indicate themes of abuse and dysfunction. The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are:

Stage 1: Idealization

Idealization includes themes of strong admiration and love bombing. At this phase, you may feel extra special and cared for. Mirroring can also happen, which refers to the narcissist taking on your interests and preferences as their own. This can make it appear like you two have more in common than you do. Idealization sets the stage for more control and emotional volatility.

Stage 2: Devaluation

Devaluation occurs once the narcissist realizes that you’re no longer perfect or infallible. At this point, criticism and rejection start to seep into the relationship. They may blame or insult you for things they once appreciated. They might also start withdrawing their affection or micromanaging your usual activities. Devaluation also includes themes of occasional reinforcement- sometimes you do everything “right,” but other times, you do it all “wrong.”

Stage 3: Rejection

Rejection occurs when the narcissist decides to end the relationship. This can also be called the ‘final discard,’ and it happens when the narcissist decides to find someone or something else to meet their needs. Rejection can happen suddenly (leaving without warning), or it can build up via blame, detachment, and withdrawal. In most cases, the narcissist attempts to move on right away.

Stage 4: Hoovering

Hoovering entails trying to enter back into your life, even after rejection has occurred. The narcissist doesn’t want to fully let you go. They may make sporadic appearances back into your life (without warning). They might also reach out with grandiose apologies or long-winded statements about wanting to change their behavior or seeking help. They may re-engage in old love-bombing tactics at this time.

25 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

There are many signs of narcissistic abuse in a relationship, whether platonic, familial, or romantic. Narcissists have an arsenal of tactics to destroy a person’s reality and confidence, to gain or keep control over the relationship or marriage. They may make you feel crazy, meaning you will be less likely to reach out for support from family and friends. A narcissist may use emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual, or sexual abuse.

Here are 25 signs of narcissistic abuse:

1. Gaslighting

Narcissistic gaslighting refers to intentionally making a person distrust their views of reality or believe they’re mentally unstable. Narcissists will use specific, targeted gaslighting phrases to do so.

2. Emotional & Verbal Abuse

A narcissist often verbally or emotionally abuses you to continue controlling and tearing you down. Emotional abuse is characterized by behavior that is meant to harm you. This could look like calling you stupid, threatening to hurt you, or lying. Verbal abuse may include name-calling or insults.

3. Projection

Narcissistic projection involves dumping one’s issues onto their victim instead of taking the blame. For instance, a narcissistic abuser may accuse their partner of lying when they have lied (this is sometimes referred to as DARVO, which stands for deny, attack, reverse victim & offender). Or they make a partner feel guilty when they’ve done nothing wrong to create confusion.

4. Attempts to Isolate You From Loved Ones

Narcissists force you to become dependent on them by isolating you from your family and friends. Detaching you from your support system ensures they can have control over you. They may say they do not like your friends or family, you spend too much time with loved ones or make negative comments about loved ones’ behaviors or interactions with you to change how you feel.

5. Threats of Physical Violence

Rage is a common trait among narcissists, but this does not always equate to physical violence. Narcissists may use threats of harm as a control tactic to keep you from leaving or spending time with your family. They scare you by threatening violence to continue getting what they want. They may say things like, “You’ll be sorry if you leave!” or, “I will punch you if you try to go out with your friends tonight.”

6. Constant Criticism & Insults

Part of a narcissist’s approach to controlling and manipulating you is to make you feel worthless and dependent on them through criticism and insults. They will devalue you and others to look and feel superior to everyone else. They can never be wrong and constantly need to feel better than everyone else so they do not appear ‘stupid.’

7. Censorship

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might tiptoe around them to avoid setting them off in a rage outburst. This could look like censoring yourself or pushing down your thoughts and feelings to appease the narcissist and steer clear of abusive behaviors that can occur if there is a disagreement. This censorship creates a cycle where the victim is powerless, and the narcissist continues to control and manipulate.

8. Instilling Fear About Their Reactions

The fear of a rage outburst, physical violence, or being publicly shamed can be more than enough to scare someone into learning how to avoid these outcomes. Narcissistic behavior can also be inconsistent and hard to predict, which can add to the anxiety level. Narcissists enjoy this game because it allows them to get what they want.

9. Strategic People-Pleasing Behaviors

Narcissists are not typically seen as people pleasers. However, narcissists will strategically people-please when it makes them look good, impresses others socially, or helps them get ahead. This also reduces their shame and continues to inflate their ego.

10. History of Abuse in Previous Relationships

Narcissism and abuse are typically not isolated incidents. A history of abuse is common for narcissists and their victims and is usually why they stay in such relationships. Victims may be vulnerable and ignore red flags, and a narcissist will pick up on that. Additionally, a narcissist may have learned abusive behaviors in childhood and is now repeating those patterns.

11. Lack of Empathy

A lack of empathy or ability to feel and express emotions are significant reason narcissistic relationships fail. In a healthy relationship, both people care for each other. In a narcissistic relationship, the non-narcissistic person will not feel cared for due to the narcissist’s lack of empathy and show signs of sadness and loneliness.

12. Excusing or Ignoring Their Bad Behaviors

Narcissists will never take responsibility for their behavior, often using excuses as to why hurting or embarrassing someone is acceptable. Their victim will frequently take the blame for them or make excuses as to why they behaved that way in the first place. For example, a victim may say, “They’re just stressed right now,” or “You’re not as familiar with them as I am.”

13. Making Everything a Competition

A person with NPD has to be right and the center of attention. Instead of building you up and congratulating you on important accomplishments, the narcissist finds a way to tear you down and compete with you. This continues the cycle of inflating their ego and ignoring their needs.

14. Love Bombing

Love bombing involves demonstrating attention and affection in an attempt to influence someone. It can cause internal conflict and confusion for victims. The narcissist uses love bombing to control the person into being their next source of supply and will continue to do this to make the person stay in a relationship with them. Love bombing is intense, and the narcissist may overshare or pressure you to commit to them too soon.

15. Invasion of Privacy

A narcissist will use any means of control to ensure they always have the upper hand. They will always want to know where you are going, with whom, and when. They may ask for your passcodes or hack into your email to keep tabs on you.

16. Arrogant & Superior Attitude

A narcissist’s grandiose sense of self-importance leaves no time or space for anyone else, leaving others feeling alone in the relationship. Narcissists are incapable of connecting with others, causing the other person to feel unheard or ignored in the relationship. Over time, you will learn to suppress your feelings or avoid sharing what is happening in your life.

17. Creating Mistrust Outside of the Relationship

A narcissist will slowly isolate you from your support people to have 100% control over you and everything you do. This usually starts slowly with small negative comments about your family or friends. These behaviors will increase in intensity until you also believe your support system does not have your best interests at heart. This leaves the victim even more isolated, alone, and dependent on the narcissist.

18. Inflated Sense of Entitlement

Narcissists expect to receive special treatment. They will act out if you do not bow to their every wish or demand. You may receive the “cold shoulder” or “silent treatment” or be met with name-calling or physical abuse.

19. Manipulative Behaviors

Narcissists are the masters of emotional manipulation. A manipulative narcissist will try to control your thoughts and desires. Making future promises and emotional blackmail are two forms of manipulation, but gaslighting is the most common. Manipulation causes confusion, low self-esteem, anxiety, shame, and guilt. You may also be manipulated to stay home, not go to work, engage in sexual acts, or spend money on the narcissist.

20. Playing the Victim Card

When all else fails, the narcissist resorts to playing the victim card. This is designed to gain sympathy and further control behavior. A 2020 study shows that narcissists often display victimhood.6 Although it may seem like narcissists can have a strong, dominant personality, anytime they are criticized, they will play the victim to get more attention and appear helpless. This also allows the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their actions by instead placing blame on their outside environment.

21. Trying to Control You

At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, controlling behaviors start as subtle or subdued to not scare you away. As time passes, the controlling behaviors will increase as they seek to gain power over you. The more they can control you, the more they get what they want.

22. Hoovering

Hoovering describes “sucking” someone back into a relationship, usually after a round of silent treatment or rejection. Hoovering has also been referred to as emotional blackmail. If the narcissist feels they are losing control, they will change tactics. They will validate you, be intimate with you, or make you feel good. Once things are better and the victim thinks the narcissist has changed, the narcissist starts the abusive behaviors again.

23. Hogging the Conversation

Narcissists love to talk about themselves. They will embellish and flat-out lie to make themselves look better than others or inflate their accomplishments. There is no room to talk about your accomplishments, nor do they care about them in the first place. Talking about your achievements will trigger a narcissist’s insecurities and jealousy. They will escape the topic by cutting you off or changing the conversation. They will talk negatively about you or makeup lies to discredit you and your accomplishments.

24. Ignoring Your Boundaries

Complete disregard for boundaries is a red flag. Spending time apart in relationships is normal, as is having boundaries around your self-care, routines, bedtimes, eating schedule, and more. In another effort to control you and create codependency, a narcissist will ignore and push your boundaries.

25. Exploitation

People in a narcissist’s life are viewed as objects to meet their needs. They will take advantage of others without guilt or shame. They do not think about how their actions affect others, leaving their victims feeling unloved and uncared for.

Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

Being the victim of narcissistic abuse can lead to long-term effects that are difficult to cope with. While some of those effects are mild, others can be so severe that they are fatal. Some of the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse are:  

  • - Anxiety and depression

  • - Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

  • - Low self-worth and feeling as though you have lost yourself

  • - An inability to forgive yourself because of feelings of unworthiness

  • - Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches

  • - Trouble sleeping because of high levels of stress and racing thoughts

  • - Nightmares

  • - Short-term memory loss

  • - Mood swings and irritability

  • - A lack of emotions and feeling as though the world around you is off somehow

  • - Feeling vengeful or hateful towards your abuser

  • - Having an increased risk of developing mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD, especially if abused as a child

  • - Trust issues because of the long-standing manipulation you endured

  • - An increased sensitivity to criticism or judgment

  • - People-pleasing tendencies in an attempt to win approval from others

  • - Feeling as though you need to punish yourself with self-destructive behaviors, such as substance use, overspending, or overeating

Examples of Narcissistic Abuse

Being abused by a narcissist isn’t always obvious. They’ll use a variety of techniques to control and manipulate you. They may not even be aware that their behavior is hurtful but they will always be persistent to continue to control you. Once their immediate need is met, they may move on to a different or more intense tactic. Common examples of narcissistic abuse include:

1. Withholding: This may include withholding such things as money, sex, communication, or affection from you.

2. Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail is another form of manipulation to make you feel fear, guilt, or doubt. They may use anger, intimidation, threats, warnings, or punishment to keep you in line.

3. Sabotage: Disruptive interference with your endeavors or relationships for revenge or personal advantage.

4. Financial abuse: Financial abuse might include controlling you through economic domination or draining your finances through extortion, theft, manipulation, or gambling, or by accruing debt in your name or selling your personal property.

5. Spreading lies: Spreading malicious gossip or lies about you to other people.

6. Making accusations: A narcissist may accuse you of certain actions, such as cheating, lying, or engaging in some form of unhealthy behavior.

7. Blaming others for their actions: When a narcissist is confronted, they will twist it around to blame their victims for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behavior and insist that their victim apologize to them.

8. Silent treatments: Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim “off the hook” by demanding an apology even if they weren’t to blame.

Therapies Used by a Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician

Most therapist uses approaches effective in treating trauma and emotional abuse, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or trauma-focused CBT. These methods help in managing symptoms, processing traumatic memories, and rebuilding self-esteem. Consider the type of therapy you prefer:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and challenge unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors often rooted in the abuse.

2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): Teaches emotional regulation skills and distress tolerance, particularly helpful for managing the intense emotions often associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

3. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): This can be particularly effective in processing traumatic memories associated with the abuse.

4. Schema Therapy: Focuses on identifying and modifying unhealthy early-life patterns that contribute to narcissistic behaviors, such as a deep need for validation.

5. Metacognitive Interpersonal Therapy (MIT): A step-by-step approach that helps individuals with NPD recognize their maladaptive patterns, understand how these behaviors affect others, and develop new, more adaptive ways of interacting.

6. Transference-Focused Psychotherapy: Utilizes the therapeutic relationship itself to explore how the individual’s narcissistic tendencies manifest in interactions and how they impact others.

How to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse

The stages of healing from narcissistic abuse typically take time, introspection, and support. However, recognizing the abuse is the first step. Furthermore, it’s important to anticipate how the narcissist may react and you must have measures in place to take care of yourself. No matter how challenging the situation seems, recovery from narcissistic abuse is always possible.

1. Label the Abuse

Recognizing abuse can be challenging. But, identifying what happened and legitimizing your experience allows you to maintain a sense of objectivity. Remember that abusers may oscillate between being extremely cruel and incredibly charming. They typically present as kind or compassionate in public. However, severe jealousy, name-calling, controlling behavior, intense blaming, and humiliation are all considered forms of abuse.

2. End the Relationship (If You Haven’t Already)

Abusive relationships rarely, if ever, improve on their own. In most cases, breaking up with a narcissist is the best option for reclaiming your well-being. Due to their nature, they will likely respond inappropriately. They may beg you to come back, promise to change, try to smear your reputation to others, or make idle threats about destroying your future.

3. Set Clear, Defined Boundaries

Many times, avoiding all contact with your abuser is the ideal response for moving on. Taking this approach requires immense discipline, but it eliminates potential opportunities for connection and “feeling tricked” back into the relationship. If you must maintain some contact (such as when you’re co-parenting with a narcissist), aim to create defined, specific limits about communication. The more you can uphold those boundaries, the more likely you will protect yourself from further chaos.

4. Avoid Retaliation

Even if your abuser makes great efforts to hurt you after ending the relationship, resist the urge to fight back. In many ways, that’s how they want you to respond. Continuing to engage only fuels more drama. Instead, if you can’t avoid their tactics, focus on remaining as neutral as possible or ‘grey rock‘ them. If you must vent, share your concerns with someone who doesn’t have any ties with the narcissist. Mutual friends may tell them what you say or the narcissist may try to engage you in triangulation tactics through these mutual acquaintances.

5. Seek Immediate Support

If you recently ended the relationship, you need people who will validate, comfort, and help you. Reach out to trusted friends or family, or consider joining a support group for survivors of abuse or domestic violence.  Seeking support still applies to those who suffered from abuse that happened a long time ago. It’s never too late to reach out for help.

6. Create a Consistent Schedule

Routine can be such an essential part of your emotional well-being. Having a sense of predictability can help you stay focused, even when life feels wildly out of control. Commit to making a schedule that you can follow each day or week. It’s okay if you don’t follow it perfectly. Having a template in mind can give you peace of mind when you feel scattered.

7. Anticipate Grief

Any loss, even if it’s positive, can trigger distress. Many people feel profound grief after ending a traumatic or toxic relationship. This grief may be complicated. You may experience a sense of numbness or detachment, difficulty trusting others, a sense of longing for the abuser, or difficulty engaging in your everyday routine. Keep in mind that these symptoms of grief are common, and they usually dissipate as you move through your healing process.

8. Express Your Emotions

Your emotions may feel highly intense when you first begin healing from narcissistic abuse. Try to avoid suppressing or bottling them up. Instead, identify and release them. If you aren’t sure how to talk about your emotions directly, try engaging in creative activities like journaling, artwork, or music.

9. Rediscover Yourself

Many people sacrifice their identities in narcissistic relationships. Once they start recognizing the abuse, they feel somewhat hollow or as if they don’t know who they are or what they like anymore. If this applies to you, try to focus on all the benefits of getting to rediscover yourself. To spark some inspiration, consider making a master bucket list or writing down at least three to five activities you want to try in the next month.

10. Implement More Self-Care

Self-care refers to the way you establish both your physical and emotional well-being. In its simplest form, practicing self-care means attuning to your basic needs.  But, it also means engaging in conscious actions that promote self-esteem, happiness, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of purpose. Think about how you can implement better self-care rituals in your daily routine.

11. Seek to Forgive Yourself

Anyone can experience narcissistic abuse and what you endured was not your fault. Blaming yourself only stunts your ability to move on. Aim to be compassionate and kind to yourself when possible. Research shows that practicing self-forgiveness reinforces your emotional well-being, healthier relationships, and a more positive attitude.

12. Take Time Before You Jump Into Dating

If your abuser was a romantic partner, avoid the temptation of distracting yourself with someone new. You need time to process what happened and rediscover yourself. You may be especially fragile right now, and that might heighten your risk of attracting another toxic person. Instead, focus on building a relationship with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and reconnect with other people who can support and love you.

13. Protect Yourself on Social Media

As we become increasingly more connected digitally, online stalking and abuse present a growing problem. If you haven’t already, unfollow and block the narcissist on all platforms. Make your profiles private and be especially cautious with how you share personal information about yourself. You never know what someone might do with it.

14. Create New Rituals

Maybe you two went to the same restaurant for lunch every Wednesday. Or, you spent every Christmas visiting their mother’s house. Either way, certain rituals may trigger sadness, anger, or a sense of longing. Try to anticipate those moments and think of ways you can recreate new patterns for the future.

15. Reflect on What You Learned

It’s easy to dwell on all the negative parts of narcissistic abuse. And, indeed, reminding yourself of all that negativity is important in helping you avoid repeat situations in the future. But if these associations only make you feel worse about yourself, try to also remember how you grew, learned, and gained perspective from this experience.

How to Deal With Narcissistic Abuse

Because narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for their actions and change, it’s often up to the victim to deal with the after-effects of being abused. These relationships usually end up in divorce or legal issues because of the complexities and lack of ability to change. It is possible to heal from a toxic relationship, but it takes time to trust again. Below are tips for dealing with narcissistic abuse:

1. Know when to leave: You can never please a narcissist. You cannot make them happy because they are not happy with themselves. It is often best to end the relationship for your mental health.

2. Don’t fall for their tricks: Exiting a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. At the end of a relationship, they may beg, make promises to change, lavish you with expensive gifts, or profess their undying love for you.

3. Don’t try to change them: Know that a narcissist never changes they only get better at their craft. Remind yourself that you deserve better and are worthy of love.

4. Focus on building your self-esteem: A narcissist thrives off of tearing you down and insulting you. Find small ways to remember your strengths, and lean on your support system to help.

5. Establish boundaries: Begin to notice when you feel threatened or frustrated, set clear boundaries with a narcissist, and stick to them.

6. Focus on your own needs: It’s easy to forget that you have your own needs when you’re being abused, but focus on simple care tasks, one at a time.

7. Remember it’s not your fault: You are never at fault for being abused and shamed. Remember that this is a mental health disorder that began long before you were around.

How to Find Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician Near Me

Finding a therapist who specializes in treating survivors of narcissistic abuse involves several steps to make sure that the professional is licensed to handle the specific challenges associated with this type of emotional abuse. Here are some guidelines to find a therapist for narcissistic abuse to help you overcome trauma.

1. Look for Specialized Training and Certification

Seek therapists who have undergone specialized training or certification in treating narcissistic abuse. Certifications such as the Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) indicate that the therapist has received education specifically focused on the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and its recovery process.

2. Use Online Therapist Directories

Utilize online directories that allow you to filter therapists by their specialties. Some websites offer filters where you can select “narcissistic abuse” or related terms to find therapists knowledgeable in this area.

3. Check Therapeutic Approaches

Ensure the therapist uses approaches effective in treating trauma and emotional abuse, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or trauma-focused CBT. These methods help in managing symptoms, processing traumatic memories, and rebuilding self-esteem.

4. Interview Potential Therapists

When you have a shortlist, interview potential therapists. Ask about their experience with narcissistic abuse, their approach to therapy, and how they support their clients’ recovery. This step is crucial to gauge whether their style and understanding align with your needs.

5. Consider Their Personal Experience

Sometimes, therapists who have personal experience with narcissistic abuse, whether directly or through close associations, may offer deeper empathy and practical insights into your situation.

6. Look for Trauma-Informed Care

A therapist for narcissistic abuse counseling must be skilled in trauma-informed care is essential. They should focus on creating a safe environment, respecting your autonomy, and helping you regain control over your life decisions and boundaries.

7. Ask About Their Continuing Education

Given the evolving nature of psychological research, it’s beneficial if the counselor for narcissistic abuse engages in ongoing education regarding narcissistic abuse and related psychological impacts. This commitment can be crucial for providing the most effective and up-to-date therapeutic interventions for counselors specializing in narcissistic abuse.

Sources:

Narciss Insight

Choosing Therapy

Very Well Health

Manipulationships

Charlie Health

Mayo Clinic

Sylvia Brafman